A society can be judged by how it treats its children, even those most troubled and disturbed. Many choose to 'throw away' those children who are deemed delinquent. But how did they become that way? It is not just their choices but it is also the failure of adults in their lives to truly reach out and guide these children. Court systems, Child Protective services, and our educational systems fail these children time and time again. They are shuffled off to placements and through psychiatric ceremonials only to become more bitter, more hardened, more distressed, and more disturbed. They sentence them to a spiritual death. We should be investing our time to teach new skills, to change the frame of reference, to show compassion and wisdom. We must have patience and journey with these children, to know that someone truly cares and that their pains and hurts need not be self destructive. But the issue remains greed. It is profitable to keep the status quo, the psychiatric establishment profits and so do others. No one wants to take the time to bother with these children, few are interested in social justice, few want to give the things that would truly rehabilitate.
I hope that there will be those who will wage a non violent resistance and to once again make our children a priority. We live in a society where there must always be winners and losers, it impacts every aspect of how we conduct ourselves, in courts, in politics, in business. If only we can regain a sense of our common humanity, and be able to develop concern for others, even the most troubled. We are creating the monsters by our failure to meet the true needs of our children, we are contributing to their demise. Hopefully we will soon awaken to this and make the important changes.
-Dan L.Edmunds,Ed.D.
www.DrDanEdmunds.com
KINGSTON, PA AUTISM CONSULTATION Dr. Dan L. Edmunds, Ed.D.,B.C.S.A.,DAPA- is a highly sought after psychotherapist, Existential Psychoanalyst, autism specialist, social activist, speaker,and author. Dr. Edmunds's work is devoted to drug free, relational approaches for children, adults, and families undergoing extreme states of mind, autism and trauma. Dr. Edmunds can be reached for consultation at batushkad@yahoo.com. Dr. Edmunds' private practice is in Kingston and Tunkhannock, PA.
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
Sunday, October 26, 2008
I placed my hope in you, I sought your liberation. Shattered. Broken. Lost. You could not respond. I loved you. I still do. But you did not know until it was too late. I embrace you and the tears flow. I know you, but you do not know youself. You wanted control. How out of control things are. Let go. Let go of the pain, the rage, I am with you, know this, if it be your only solace. The torment to me and to you. It will pass, don't give up.I believe in you, you will overcome. Namaste.
Sunday, October 19, 2008
The Gift of Trust, Love, and Hope
I had the privilege of working with a young man who had experienced much turmoil in his life. From early on, we connected, and over time this bond became stronger. Family sessions were often difficult and challenging, but one on one he would share with me his pain, his dark secrets, his sorrows. He had been abandoned by his father, sexually abused by a peer at age 7, witness to a suicide attempt of his mother, and having a conflictual relationship with his step-father. He had little love in his life to the point where he had no love for himself either. He began to loathe himself and be filled with rage. I sought to be loving but firm, and to steer him towards finding meaning and of resolving conflicts in his life. We had a strong relationship, we could joke together but also share more serious reflections. However, I knew that because he had been so hurt and broken, that he was not fully trusting anyone and he was constantly being sucked into the vortex of negative peer associations and familial dysfunction. I'm spite of this, he progressed, even to the point discharge was discussed by the psychologist. But then came the series of unfortunate events. I noticed him struggling again and isolating. He then had an incident where he was caught unclothed with his younger sibling. I suspected he had been abused again by a peer, but he was not able to develop the courage to relate this until much later. He persisted in some negative actions at school, using domination of others as a way to regain control and his feelings of worth. There was another incident of sexual acting out and this brought charges. I hjad predicted sadly that if better choices were not made that legal ramifications would come and there would be a day where all decisions would be out of his hands, out of his parents, and out of mine. The State became involved. Not understanding my connection to the young man, and wanting everything sterile and clinical, as well as having political machinations, they chastised me for being real and genuine and actually treating this young man as a human being. They had their agenda and decided to proceed. It was not that I did not understand that he needed additional support and help, it was that I was concerned if he felt alone and had no spiritual connection, he would only become more hardened and fall into despair. The young man pleaded with me not to abandon him, and I said I would not. He told me that he wished he would have followed what I said, but he could never trust anyone, but now he knows that I truly cared about him, but he felt it was too late. I had given him a word that means 'I see the love, truth, and divine in you.' He said this word to me as he remembered it. When I exained it meaning, he wept. Now I am left to only hope for the best in an absurd situation, to hope for the best in a system not knowing compassion, not knowing persons, so filled with ego. His mother's words were very meaningful to me in that she said- 'you did not fail, you gave him more than anyone ever did- you gave him trust, hope, and love.' This I did and would do again and again even though the pain has been great. And if any dare say that what I gifted this child with was 'unprofessional', then I must question their heart. It is indeed a great misfortune that those who claim to be in the field of protecting children are so beguiled by greed and corruption, that they lose sight of how to truly reach our children, even the most troubled ones, and deal with them in compassionate, rehabilitative means.
-Dan L. Edmunds,Ed.D.
www.humanepsychiatry.info
-Dan L. Edmunds,Ed.D.
www.humanepsychiatry.info
Thursday, October 16, 2008
PATIENT ACCEPTANCE, UNCONDITIONAL LOVE, AND COMPASSION
Sometimes it is difficult to accept things as they are, to come to a patient acceptance. I have looked at the role of the 'bodhisattva', one who postpones their own enlightenment and happiness, to compassionately help liberate others. I am convinced that providing unconditional love and compassion heals much. It is the opening to the door of liberation from distress and deluded minds. Pain and turmoil can only cease by knowing unconditional love, of feeling that someone understands, that no matter how bad things are or have been, we can overcome. I think of the term 'namaste', that we are all inter-connected, and we can join our hearts together, and that there exists within all beings the potential, the seed of goodness and light. It is this unconditional love and compassion that waters this seed and helps it to grow. I think of the lotus, a beautiful flower blossoming from the muck, such a symbol of our world, that from despair, hopelessness, and sufferings, can blossom forth goodness and inner peace.
-Dan L. Edmunds, Ed.D.
www.DrDanEdmunds.com
-Dan L. Edmunds, Ed.D.
www.DrDanEdmunds.com
Wednesday, October 08, 2008
Left powerless, son, who protected you? Who has nourished your soul? When you cried, did anyone hear? Broken and hurt, torn and shattered, where was your solace? Rage and confusion destroyed your peace. They created the monstrous desire for revenge. I have been hurt, I seek revenge. My pain shall be their pain! My hurt shall be their hurt! They do not know me, I am lost, I do not know myself. They destroyed my soul, and I cannot find it. They shattered my trust, I can trust no one, and I cannot be trusted. I inflict my pain on them and those that are with them. My anger has consummed me. I cannot find my soul, I am void, there is nothing there, yet I need something. I fill this void with more rage. I plead that someone will hear me. I plead that someone will understand. I wait alone. I wait afraid. Will I recognize the one who hears my cry or will I turn away thinking they are one of them? I wait for the one who will hear my cry, yet I remain afraid.
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