LIBYAN REVOLT

In spite of attempts to shut down the revolt by barring the internet and through violence, it appears the Libyan people will persist in their efforts for justice and equality. Libya has huge wealth from oil, however its people exist on around $2 per day. The West is complicit in the creation of this misery as it has propped up many client-states. This revolt, as the others throughout the Arab world are the unraveling of this system of client-states. The people's voice will be heard!

-Dan L. Edmunds, Ed.D.

FURTHER THOUGHTS ON CIAVERELLA

It is a positive development to hear of the conviction of former Judge Mark Ciavarella who brought great distress to the lives of hundreds of children. However, what appears to have occurred is that the main issue that brought Ciavarella to justice was not based on concern for young people but solely based on money. The tax evasion issue, where money was involved was the fundamental issue. Ciavarella's actions went on without comment or anyone assisting the youth for years, but when money is the issue and its not getting into government coffers, then that is where the problem is seen. We need to work hard for real juvenile justice reform, this conviction is only the beginning.

BIEBER AND OTHER THOUGHTS

I have noticed that in our society, we are becoming more and more anti-intellectual, and those who who are the 'prophets' within our society, warning of the inherent social dilemmas are typically ignored by the mainstream media. I can think of Noam Chomsky as one example. I can also note that my message of a humane psychiatry is rarely discussed by the mainstream media, and most of my media interviews with the exception of one have been through alternative sources. The reason is that the mainstream media is bought. But not only this, corporate interests infiltrate most of everything. Our athletes wear corporate sponsored gear, our politicians are backed by corporate interests where we really have no choice but to support one corporate backed person over another. Recently, someone asked me my thoughts in regards to Justin Bieber. I feel bad for this young man actually. He is exploited by those around him and he does not know it. He may be enjoying fame now, but as with many young people caught up in this sort of thing, years later, things typically do not go well. We are a society based solely on seeking entertainment wherever it may be, we are apathetic, numb, and we do not want to have to actually respond to any real questions or challenges about where we are going and the course of our society.

-Dan L. Edmunds, Ed.D.
http://selfgrowth.com/experts/dan_edmunds.html

COMMENTS BY ANDREW FELDMAR

THE FOLLOWING IS A PIECE WRITTEN BY PSYCHOTHERAPIST ANDREW FELDMAR, I COMPLETELY AGREE WITH THE SENTIMENTS EXPRESSED THEREIN.
-Dan L. Edmunds, Ed.D.


I have been listening to people and conversing with them under the pretext of psychotherapy for over 45,000 hours by now. The theater of therapy requires preofessionalism, science, technique, illness, diagnosis, prognosis, treatment plan and evaluation. The reality of therapy consists of two people meeting. There is a space, a time and two people participating in each other’s lives. For better or worse. For Freud, analysis has no other aim than to allow two human beings to meet, in privacy and in truth. Truth is not fact. To tell the truth requires courage, because truth is always personal. We lie because we are afraid. Afraid that our own truths are not good enough. If I am concerned with my manner of living and what’s right or wrong with it, whom do I invite to critique my life? Therapy is based on the premise that it’s better to know where we stand than to avoid reality, however painful that reality is. If I had no secrets that I deny exist, deny even to myself, then perhaps I wouldn’t need another to help me disclose the secrets I’ve been hiding from awareness. In a new book, M. Guy Thompson states succinctly, “the things we hide come back to haunt us in indirect ways. We eventually suffer from the secrets we harbor, the same secrets that alert us to the things we fear about reality. This secrets contain a truth, not because they necessarily reveal the nature of reality, but because the things we conceal seem too real to accept”. The issues referred to above are ethical and political, not scientific, medical or psychological.

The Meeting of Two Persons: What Therapy Should Be (Lecture at 13th Annual ICSPP Conference, Syracuse, NY) by Dr. Dan L. Edmunds

The Meeting of Two Persons: What Therapy Should Be (Lecture at 13th Annual ICSPP Conference, Syracuse, NY) by Dr. Dan L. Edmunds

'Sane in an Insane World' - Freedomain Radio Interviews Dr Dan Edmunds

PAST COMMENTS REGARDING KIDS FOR CASH SCANDAL AND MARK A. CIAVARELLA

Focus should be shifted to true rehabilitation

Published: Thursday, January 29, 2009 Updated: Thursday, January 29, 2009 6:08 AM EST Editor: It is a positive development that Luzerne County Judges Mark A. Ciavarella and Michael T. Conahan are being brought to justice for their actions in profiting from placing youth in detention facilities.

However, it is necessary for us to examine the problems inherent with residential and detention facilities themselves. In these settings, youth are placed often under conditions that lead them to further emotional distress. The decisions to place children is often not based on a genuine interest in the child�s best interests, but what will be profitable and the easiest way out of having to actually rehabilitate youth and meet their emotional needs.

It is no wonder that the socio-economically disadvantaged youth are the ones that are so frequently seen in this system. How does placing a child into a detention center or residential facility, which often is geared toward the concept of staff forcing conformity through rewards, punishments and often deprivation, teach a child who seeks to use power inappropriately that this is wrong?

How does a militaristic system teach anything but that children must submit to someone stronger than themselves? It only reinforces wrong ideas about power and domination.

These facilities are bound to create new emotional problems for these children. But the system profits here, as well, because then they are able to label and drug the children and make money in the process of billing for this injustice.

A youth is removed from the home, programmed, and when they conform to the expectations, released back to the setting that led to their distress and misbehavior to begin with. It becomes a vicious cycle.

These facilities are also very costly and their efficacy is questionable. The Bazelon Center for Mental Health Law noted the ineffectiveness of these facilities in treatment of youth as well as the many documented abuses that occur in such places.

Community-based options have proven effective and need to be more readily available and implemented.

We need to shift our focus to true rehabilitation and to addressing actual social problems, not locking our children away, drugging them into submission, and ignoring their needs.

DAN L. EDMUNDS, Ed.D.

SITUATION IN EGYPT

Presently, Egyptians are pressing to oust the government of Hosni Mubarak believing his adminsitration to be highly corrupt. What is curious is that the U.S. government invaded Iraq under false pretenses, claiming to be 'liberating' and bringing 'freedom and democracy', however in Egypt, it says and does nothing. Why would the U.S. government not want to support 'freedom and democracy' in this siutation? Because Mubarak serves our interests. This is not about freedom and democracy but all about power, greed, and control.

INTERNATIONAL CENTER FOR HUMANE PSYCHIATRY ADVISORS

Advisors of the International Center for Humane Psychiatry are persons committed to the following:

Our work is to fight against oppression and coercion in the mental health system, to eradicate the hierarchical barriers between 'doctor and patient', to eliminate the medicalization of emotional distress, and to develop means of helping distressed persons where their autonomy, experience, and dignity is respected. We seek to return a conscience to the field of mental health and create an environment where people undergoing distress feel validated, empowered, and capable.

We believe in the power of the human spirit and each person's potential to be resilient. We believe that the forging of relationship is a key to emotional healing as well as the ability to help a person explore themselves, their world, society, and the human condition. We we seek to join with people in setting life goals, understanding the human condition and experiences without looking upon the person as defective. ICHP encourages involvement in issues related to social justice and believes that our working together to create a world free from poverty, greed, conflict, and discrimination will go a long way towards the development of true mental health.

We seek to be pro-active and preventative in our care for persons. We promote drug free, relationship based approaches for troubled and distressed children and adults and encourage the development and implementation of community based programs. We advocate for juvenile justice reform and for an education system that inspires a zeal for learning and is respectful of children's innate strengths and abilities. We believe in the development of community based options. We are opposed to force and coercion in the mental health system.

We seek to provide a place of sanctuary for people in crisis or undergoing extreme states of mind, where they can feel supported and validated, and not be subjected to any 'treatments' they do not desire. We believe distressed people thrive in environments that are non-threatening and they feel safe.

We collaborate with and offer consultation to parents, educators, and children and their families to develop relationship based approaches and problem solving towards resolving issues of distress, realizing that people are resilient and capable of healing from distress. We have been successful in helping individuals not have to resort to psychiatric drugs or to be able under the direction of their physicians significantly reduce their use.

We believe the key to this healing is by the forging of relationship and the construction of meaning. We believe that compassion is one of the highest ideals. We believe that psychiatric drugs do not teach new ways of living, thinking, loving, and being, whereas people do. We are particularly concerned about the vast prescribing of psychiatric drugs (many which carry warnings of suicidal ideation, violence, agitation, and aggression) upon individuals' well being. We are concerned about the unethical conflicts of interest existing between medical psychiatrists and the pharmaceutical industry.

We seek to provide to those individuals undergoing serious distress a place where they feel safe, secure, and can begin to begin the process of discovery and overcome fear and emotional chains.

We do not feel that locking individuals away in institutions solve human problems, rather it is through compassion, empathy, and seeking to understand our human condition that true mental health will arise. We believe that placing persons in mental hospitals is equivalent to incarceration however the distressed person has committed no crime, rather they are subject to a psychiatric ceremonial where the pschiatrist seen as 'sane', interrogates the person, makes a judgment, and then declares a sentence. We believe that psychiatric diagnosis often stigmatizes and limits opportunity for individuals. We believe that modern society is driving people 'mad' and that we must have radical transformation of ourselves and our values as well as return to a greater sense of community. We believe those who call themselves therapists must be actively involved in issues of social justice, helping end oppression and encourage liberation for marginalized persons. We recognize that distressed individuals must be treated as persons with respect and dignity. We believe in recognizing that even the most troubled persons and families have innate strengths. We believe that persons need to be given informed consent and not seen merely by a diagnostic label. We believe that ethics must proceed technology. We believe that bio-psychiatry has often used brutal methods (such as electroshock, insulin coma, toxic drugs, and lobotomy) and has evoked much harm in the lives of individuals and does not provide any true answers to the problems of life. We believe that there is no objectivity and science to the process of psychiatric diagnosis and that those diagnosed are often stigmatized and oppressed in society by virtue of this label.

We encourage drug free relationship based, problem solving, and holistic approaches and encourage individuals who choose to use helpful adjuncts such as meditation, acupuncture, tai-chi, and yoga. The International Center for Humane Psychiatry is one of few entities taking a strong stand on social justice issues and seeking to create a mental health system that does not treat people as objects, but persons.

We believe that it is also necessary for us to assume personal responsiblity and accountability for own own actions and choices and to not resort to the use of or embracing of labels to exonerate ourselves and institutions.


BRENT POTTER, PH.D.:
Brent Potter completed his Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from the Pacifica Graduate Institute. Prior to this he earned his M.A. in Psychology from Duquesne University. He lives in Bellingham, Washington where he works as a Child Mental Health Specialist, a County Designated Mental Health Professional, and a Licensed Mental Health Counselor.

GREGORY OKE:
Gregory Oke is a Mental Health Consumer Advocate in Australia.


MEGHAN CHMIEWLEWSKI, B.A.:
Ms. Chmielewski completed her Bachelor of Arts from Pennsylvania State University on Human Development and Family Studies with concentration in Psychology. She is currently involved in a Master's program in Special Education and School Counseling at Marywood University. Ms. Chmielewski has worked in community mental health and served in a therapeutic community project under the direction of Dr. Dan L. Edmunds, Ed.D.



SEAN URQUHART:
Mr. Urquhart is a counsellor in Scotland. He was trained in person centered counselling with COSCA (Scotland) from 1995-1998. He has served in a counselling center in Paisley, The Wynd from 1997 to 1998, as well as working with an HIV charity. He is currently continuing training in cognitive behavioral therapy.

THOUGHTS REGARDING WIKILEAKS AND ASSANGE

Today, it is acceptable to authorize torture, to invade nations without cause, to take away civil liberties, to kill civilians. What will make you a 'criminal' is if you dare to expose the injustices.

TUNISIA

The recent events in Tunisia are a positive sign, a true grassroots effort by people who have experienced oppression to stand up for themselves and remove the corruption that has held them in a sense of bondage. I hope that this will be seen as an example for others, and that there will be other non-violent ways of demonstrating the need to create a more fair society.

Developmental Differences/ Autism

A few years back, my work mainly was with autistic and developmentally different persons but this lessened as I began helping more individuals who were going through extreme states of mind. I wrote the text, "Entering Their Imaginative World" in 2007 and began encouraging the development of drug free, relationship based approaches. Now in 2011, I am expanding my work with autism and developmental differences. In my approach with one person with Down's Syndrome, we sought to find ways to help him feel he was making a contribution, has worth, and feels fulfilled. This was accomplished by giving him particular responsibilities (according to his ability) that tied in with a particular strength and interest he has. I also worked on development of skills through real life rehearsals and active engagement. In my work with autistic children, it has always been the process of 'joining in' that has been remarkable. Many non-verbal children began to develop these skills simply through this engagement.
For more information on my autism/developmental differences work or to arrange a consultation, see the website at http://www.humanepsychiatry.com


-Dan L. Edmunds, Ed.D.

Dr. Dan L. Edmunds Reflections on New Year 2011

Last year, in my book THE MEETING OF TWO PERSONS: WHAT THERAPY SHOULD BE I described the social, political, and familial processes that lead persons to emotional distress. In addition, I argued about the breakdown of community and the apathy that exists within our society today. In this new year, it is necessary for us to become more courageous, more bold, and to continue to actively challenge those forces which oppress individuals. Within the field of mental health, we need to continue to tackle the false biological concepts which stigmatize persons, turns them into helpless and hopeless persons, and which makes them numbers rather than people who create profits for the pharmaceutical industry and others who would mercilessly seek to gain from their suffering, who would make them life long 'consumers'. It is a time for self reflection as well, as the only way we can make any difference in the lives of others is to begin to see where we stand. At some point, we have all been traumatized, some to a lesser degree, and some to a enormous degree, life often appears absurd, work meaningless, and we feel we are just barely staying afloat. It is necessary for us to take moments to reflect, to create meaning and purpose, and to forge together in community. If we are to survive, it can only be done together, if we are remain divided and fragmented, the 'insanity' of the world will only continue forward. In spite of the challenge, we press on, and we retain hope, and we press on with a spirit of defiance, that nothing will bring us down, nothing will stop us, and though the odds may be against us at times, our victory will always remain in knowing that we were persons of ethics and compassion.

-Dan L. Edmunds, Ed.D.

www.humanepsychiatry.com

www.selfgrowth.com/experts/dan_edmunds.html

LESSONS LEARNED FROM THE BEGINNING OF MY WORK AS A PSYCHOTHERAPIST

A colleague asked me about the first person I had worked with as a psychotherapist. Granted, prior I had provided counseling as a chaplain, my first actual therapeutic encounter was in 1999. I visited a psychiatric ward where an 18 year old trans-gender person was a patient. He had engaged in some self-mutilation and his family life was disastrous. I was told his name, but he asked me to refer to him by a female name, which respectfully, I did. I will admit some initial discomfort myself and wondering if I would be able to make a connection. I chose to simply listen to his tragic story and I learned of the brutality he experienced in his family and the challenges he faced with issues concerning his gender identity. The focus of our time was merely 'being with' and supporting. I was greatly concerned for this person, and after our brief time together inquired often about his status after he was discharged. I was pleasantly surprised that he had found a trans-gender minister who was able to guide him further and things began to ease for him.
This was my first lesson in learning about the importance of listening, supporting, and the building of relationship as the fundamentals in emotional healing. Shortly after this, when working with a community based mental health agency, I was assigned a 12 year old boy who many had given up on, as he was diagnosed as 'psychotic' and had an extensive history in the psychiatric system. No one else wanted to deal with him. Though his situation was quite challenging, I was able to develop a strong alliance and we worked through many complicated issues. I later asked why I was chosen to work with him after being told he was the 'most difficult client', and was told that it was because of my ability to 'listen and connect'. I have carried this forward in all my future work with others, to be one who will 'journey with'. But the other key lesson was to understand that I must respect the autonomy of persons, even when they may make choices where I personally disagree. I had to not continue the patterns of control that had often enslaved and brought distress these persons, but to simply be a supportive person to share in their experience and to guide them through times of distress to a more hopeful place.

-Dan L. Edmunds, Ed.D.
www.humanepsychiatry.com

LISTEN, SHARE EXPERIENCE, SEEK TO UNDERSTAND, FORGE A RELATIONSHIP- THE PATH TO EMOTIONAL HEALING.

I recall recently a young man who had come to see me for a consultation, he had made prior suicidal remarks, he was now residing with his biological father after concerns about physical and emotional abuse by his mother. He came in in the most solemn state, unable to identify any of his strengths, and telling me how he felt he was a horrible boy, and that he could do nothing right. I let him vent, and then we discussed the dynamics that led him to believe these things about himself. I asked him what has made him happy, and he said baseball, but his mother would not allow him to play. I encouraged that now he was not living with the mother, that he be signed up for this when possible. We discussed this talent and other dreams he has, and how he does not have to allow others to take this from him. We shared some humor, and by the end of the time he was actually smiling and laughing, something he had not done in some time. This is the key- to listen, share experience, to seek to understand, and to forge a relationship.

IF THERE ARE MENTAL HEALTH OFFICERS, WHY NOT DENTAL HEALTH TOO?

In many areas, there are mental health officers and mental health courts which order persons to various sorts of 'treatments'. This is further evidence that the mental health system is a branch of the law and social control (as Szasz has also suggested) and not medicine. Imagine if there were dental health officers- oops, you forgot to floss today, so you will be ordered to a 14 day oral hygiene program! You have not taken care of that cavity- you will be forced to have a root canal or extraction!

MORE DESTRUCTIVE THAN LIES

Often we see the process where dysfunction is hidden, where myths are told to children to conceal the facts and the reality of their situation. It is these processes which are often more damaging, more destructive than actual lies. It is these processes which can lead a person to mental anguish and even to that which we term ‘madness.’ We see situations where persons are abused and neglected by their families and these experiences are reshaped to appear as something other than what they are. We see individuals so desperate and despairing that they will seek out any means to escape the suffering for but a moment, and the escape is often through methods that are self destructive.

Morris is abandoned by his biological parents, he is then placed in a foster care setting. The foster parents agree to adopt Morris and tell him, “we will take care of you, we love you very much.” The foster parents do not indicate that in reality they are only seeking the financial incentive provided by the State for keeping him. When the now adoptive parents separate, the father becomes abusive and sends him to live on the streets. Through the abuse, the adoptive mother cowers and does not take any action to address the abuse or protect Morris from the abusive father. No one knows of the abuse, it is kept behind closed doors, the family being active in their religious community, the father being involved in various civic projects and community functions. They are looked upon as ‘nice, regular folks’ but behind the closed doors of their home lies another story, one that leads Morris to the greatest of anguish.

James lives in a upper middle class neighborhood. He is provided much in the way of material wealth, but emotionally he is deprived. His brother is put in a glorified role, and many expectations are placed upon the brother. The father is emotionally abusive and often distant. The mother makes excuses for the father or tries to reshape the events that James has experienced. The mother is a master at mystification. In the community, they present a good ‘public image.’ The brother begins to rebel, and automatically he begins to be defined as ‘the problem’ as the mother seeks to find out why he is so angry and depressed and has him put on a psychiatric drug. James begins to feel that a lot of the attention, even if negative, has been diverted to his brother, so he begins to act out. He experiments with his brother’s psychiatric drugs, and then it moves on to experimentation with other drugs. He seeks to fill the empty void in his life with the drugs. The parents, particularly the mother, begin to worry about how they will be perceived in the community by their ‘unruly’ sons. They decide that it would be good in order to preserve the ‘integrity’ of their family to send James away to live with other relatives. They do not relate to the relatives the circumstances of James’ challenges and they dare not say to their friends and neighbors why he has left. Instead, they say, “Oh, James, is going on a vacation for awhile, he is visiting his Aunt and Uncle.” Feeling lowered esteem and it plummeting even further by being sent away, as well as the impact of much drug use, James enters into a psychotic state. The aunt and uncle have no idea of what to do and they call the parents. The parents and the aunt and uncle without James being aware arrange to have him admitted to a psychiatric hospital. The cycle of psychiatric hospitalizations continues, and each time the story remains that he is ‘on vacation’ or ‘visiting someone’. In the interim between hospitalizations and in his confusion, he indulges himself in superficial relationships, having unprotected sex, and engaging in more drug use with so called ‘friends’ because he has felt abandoned by his family and has become alienated from the world around him. Eventually, the ‘vacation’ story has worn out its usefulness and as questions begin to arise from family, friends, and neighbors, a new story must be developed. The family stumbles upon a new and wonderful story- let us make him ill. If we can say that he is ill, then people will take pity upon him and upon us. So, from that day forward, James is said to be ill. James has a terrible break-up with a girlfriend and in this goes into a rage, becoming suicidal, arguing with his mother, and entering again into a psychotic state. This is said to be his illness. James himself begins to like this idea of being ill, as he finds that he can manipulate situations, excuse himself for poor choices, and escape from difficult and challenging situations by saying he is ill. So, ill he remains. As the questions come from the outside to explain this illness and as some carefully guarded details become known, James is left flustered and devises means of escaping these people and these questions. He has educated himself well about his illness and comes across to others as an ‘expert’ on all matters pertaining to it. If he cannot just plainly escape, then he can present this ‘expert information’ and hope that it leads persons off the track. He talks of wanting to be apart from his family, of stepping away from the typical societal expectations, however remains attached to his family solely for financial reasons. He does the talk of wanting to be apart but really cannot live without his ‘things’. So, James too projects a public image of being this person desirous of a Bohemian lifestyle, but in reality happily receives whatever the parents offer him financially.

And so it is with the entanglement that we create. It may be very easy for individuals to separate from the person or persons who have contributed to their distress, but is this separation to be called liberation? The liberation only comes when we are able to face up to the truth, to confront our experience, and to unlearn all that which was said to said to be and all the messages of who we were said to be. Then we can start life anew, this is not an easy task.

THE FRAUD OF THE PSYCHIATRIC ESTABLISHMENT'S METHODS OF DIAGNOSING 'DISEASE'

lets say we go to our physician and the nurse checks our heart rate, she then accidentally drops the chart on the floor and it startles us, she then checks our heart rate again and notices its elevated. She reports this information to the physician who based on this diagnoses us with heart disease.
If this actually happened, we would find it absurd and we would never encounter this physician again. But this IS what happens every day with the psychiatric establishment. They have no credible evidence that any so called disorder is an actual disease and if a person should have a physiological change because of a trauma or so forth, then this is used to somehow give 'evidence' of disease rather than looking at it as a natural response to the experience of the person.


-Dan L. Edmunds, Ed.D.

Response to An Ardent Follower of Bio-Psychiatry

I was recently sent a comment from an ardent follower of bio-psychiatry who accussed me of being an 'amrchair scientist" and criticizing my prior background with Comparative Religious Studies. First, I believe this background gave me some preparation towards understanding individuals, their belief systems, and how they construct meaning, however I do not look at my present work as a religious pursuit or connected to religion at all. Second, I have been directly in the field for 11 years, as a psychological evaluator, behavioral specialist, and psychotherapist. I have worked firsthand with people in serious distress, listened to them, heard their voices, and found that at the key to any emotional healing lies relationship. I have pioneered drug free and community based approaches and have seen that true recovery is possible whereas bio-psychiatry instills the idea that recovery is simply being a lifelong consumer of psychiatric drugs and maybe holding a menial job if you are lucky. My work is to respect the dignity of individuals and empower them, and this is being done, and I am proud to offer an alternative based on humanity and compassion.

-Dan L. Edmunds, Ed.D.

RESTORING COMMUNITY AND THE PROCESS OF UNLEARNING BY DR. DAN L. EDMUNDS, ED.D.

One of the most destructive problems is the breakdown of community, and it is this breakdown that has often led to the breakdown of persons. Though we may put many around us, we are alone. Relationships have become superficial, there is no longer concern for the other, and we are pressed by societal and financial pressures to focus on our own survival. We do not concern ourselves much with the plight of others except a few we may call family or friends, and even then, our concern and attention is waning. It is this which is leading to numerous dilemmas for our children and the diagnosis of a gamut of so-called mental disorders and the their mass drugging to subdue them and force their conformity to a system of madness, a system they and most despise but which continues to perpetuate itself. We may have at one time gone to our neighbors home and asked for an ingredient for a dish and they would give it and invite us in. Today, do we even know our neighbor, do we even care to know our neighbor?
And so we go along wearing masks throughout the day, playing the game, taking upon us the various roles. I see the impact of this upon our children, who become torn when made a pawn in this game. Families seek to project the goodly image to the outside while the reality is that there is immense turmoil and conflict. For some of these children, they begin to become part of the masking reality as well. I recall a young man I worked with whose family life was strained and there had been a lot of traumatic events and harshness. In the beginning, he presented his family as ‘golden’, and denied that anything anyone had noted was of truth. But fortunately over time, he came to grasp the courage and ability to think critically to challenge the way things were and to present reality to the family. And it certainly did require immense courage as in these situations the secrets are safely guarded and no one wants them exposed for what they are. The reaction was to be expected, the blame was shifted, and the young man was made to be the scapegoat and threats issued as to what would happen if he did not change his thinking and accept the myth the family held to. I have seen this similar dynamic in situations of sexual abuse that involves a relative. The only way that the young man was able to finally come to the point of challenging the family system and surviving the verbal assaults was by having one from the outside who had been able to forge a connection with both him and the family. In this, it was possible to advocate for the young man and also challenge the other family members but in a diplomatic way. This tactic worked and it was agreed upon that certain ways of interacting would need to be worked upon. They left behind the myth and came to face reality.
So if we are to truly be alive, to truly move beyond surviving to thriving, if we are to truly be human beings rather than alienated beings or drugged zombies, then we are going to need to return to the sense of community, to lay aside the barriers, and to be able to realize our common humanity. We are going to have to abandon the myths and the games we are often so entrenched within, and accept truth, even when painful.
There are powerful forces at work which pull us to and fro and infect us with ideas of who we are, what we should be, and often block us from becoming. These forces arise within our social and familial structures. We are sent repetitive messages and they become deeply engrained. We may have been told we are not attractive or too attractive, not motivated or too achieving, etc. And we enter the social sphere having absorbed these messages. As we do so we begin a painful process of comparisons. There becomes a striving for something or sometimes nothing at all. But if there is striving, it is for what and for whom? Some sadly seek only to survive, it is all they can do. But if we can realize that no matter what has been dumped upon us and what the conditions are, we retain the choice to become! We have the choice to allow these powerful forces to consume us or to be defiant in the face of them and develop a process of unlearning. In this unlearning, we may be able to break free and emerge into a new world of being.