THE POWER OF LISTENING AND UNDERSTANDING

Sadly, in my work with children and adolescents I have come to the awareness of the fact that there are often many dysfunctional family dynamics and oppressive societal structures that impact these kids that I as one person cannot possibly change though If I could I would. This does not mean that I do not continue to challenge and resist those things that lead to distress and oppression. But, I must realize that many of these young people are placed in situations that are almost like a prison sentence. They cannot escape it, and many times these dynamics tear them apart and often lead them to self-destruction. But, if it can be instilled that this prison sentence could be over in time, that self-destruction is not necessary, but that the person can overcome and be free. I realize that though I cannot change many of these things (largely because those perpetuating it do not want to change), what I can do is to provide these young people a time of respite, a time where they can feel safe and free from the burdens, and know that they have someone who will listen and respect their experience. This in itself is a great gift, and very powerful. It means so much to me when I hear from former clients who tell me what the time I spent with them, often just listening, meant to them. I cannot say that every client had the most wonderful outcome, some overcame, and some persisted in difficulties. But even the ones whose choices were poor and persisted in difficulties, when I spoke to them or corresponded with them, they would remind me of how much it meant to them to have someone on their side, someone who would listen and seek to understand.

-Dan L. Edmunds, Ed.D.
www.DrDanEdmunds.com