Monday, November 10, 2008
Sometimes caring is not enough
I have realized that showing caring and compassion are sometimes not enough. As I mentioned in my article on True Friendship, there must be a test to see if the friendship will endure and in my article Journey Through Madness, I commented on the fact that many who are so emotionally hurt trust noone and sincerity is questioned. I recall a therapeutic alliance with a 14 year old man. Though we built a strong connection, because of his immense hurts, familial turmoil, and victimization, he had difficulty trusting. He had moments of progress, but then would continue in self loathing and self destructive behavior. It was hard for him to accept that anyone might actually love him. It was easier to make others fear him, he had to dominate to feel any security. Unfortunately, he encountered the juvenile justice system, a painful experience for him, his family, and myself. But it was at this point that he came to the realization of my sincerity and that I did really care. Before, he had put his energy into superficial relationships. What is unfortunate, that none of these individuals have any concern for him now or even speak of him. He was blind to see where caring could be really found. It is unfortunate that it has taken extreme crisis for him to realize who his friends really are. It is my hope that this realization will carry him through the difficult path that lies ahead.